My Story
My personal journey to God has brought together the two DISPARATE sides of my personality and united them.
Unexpectedly …
Don’t put your life on hold
Would you say “Yes” to your fiancé if you knew that he would need to be admitted for brain tumor surgery that might leave him disabled for life? Would you agree to marry someone who had a 3.5cm tumor in the midst of his brain? Life might never be the same after the surgery, personality changes could completely obliterate his identity and even worse, he might go under and not wake up… We never know exactly what the future holds for us, but still, my soon-to-be wife had enough faith to say “Yes”.
I proposed at Church
Cauliflower and Kale Soup in my head instead of brains …
I woke up to my life for the first time…
life is a dream
After an 8.5-hour open brain surgery, my eyes witnessed the light again. The sensation of the air flowing in my lungs, my heart pumping blood through my veins and the simplest of all sensations, being able to touch things brought unexpected joy. Being able to see the animated faces of the medical team and my visitors delighted me just because it happened.
Survival seemed like a blessing and a curse. I felt like a modern-day Frankenstein’s monster, with a patchwork head sewn back together. It was strange to come back after being so far “gone” into the darkness. I had to put up with a few unpleasant tubes but at least they confirmed that I was still attached to this world.
I guess I was happy to wake up again and see the faces of people and realize that life continues. It felt like I had been given a second chance to realize that time is valuable. We are here for a reason and life is not just to joy and entertainment but suffering too, and embracing it all is part of who we are
Discharged papers in place
Three days later
“Are you still here? I thought you’d be outside kicking a soccer ball.” He meant it as a joke and I took it as one, but it still called to the spirit of my Eastern European ball chaser heritage and propelled me out of bed. 54 staples on the left side of my head were holding my skull together, but that wasn’t important. I looked for my sneakers. I had double vision (collateral nerve damage) so chasing two balls was hard, but the eye patch fixed that. With one eye I could see better but I had no depth perception. This is why you never see a pirate or a Cyclops playing professionally.
Three days later, time to go home and embrace my new Self
Nine days later back to work. But it was not that easy at all…
Heading to work, no pun intended…
time flies, and after nine days…
9 days later, unable to sit around any longer, I styled myself in a suit and put on my favorite tie. Time for appointments! NYC is all about the look, and my freshly stapled skull was no reason for a break. ( Carrie Bradshaw from the sex and the city said “In New York, they say, you're always looking for a job, a boyfriend or an apartment..”)
My client was polite enough not to mention my horror film skull but I could read what he was thinking from his expression, which said, “Why are you here and not resting at home?”
I am glad he did not ask me out loud, because one side effect of the surgery was that I could not lie anymore. I would have said “Because I need to make the commission, Sir!”
Our scars define us… they are reminders of what we survived, and they become part of who we are. Is our identity nothing but a scar? I guess we are as unique as our traumas and our scars are maps of that territory.
A month later, trip to France …
priorities change quickly
“Is this the most important now?” My decision was to go see Paris again, not that the cathedral would have been lonely without me, I just wanted to fly over the pond to visit my favorite place. I got clearance to fly on a plane and we went for a weekend. A weekend packed with the Champs-Elysees, the smell of baked bread, Moulin Rouge, lights and memories of a long nap that almost made us miss our flight back to NYC. Since this was only a month after my surgery, and I was napping a lot, I slept for most of a double decker bus ride.
I may not have always been awake to appreciate everything, but it was worth doing anyway. Exploring new territory is always about searching within and helping the soul to find itself…
Dedicated to live life to the fullest
They said the scar looks “cool”
